Image by Eric Ward

affair Repair

The days following the confirmation of an affair can be overwhelming. You are not alone. I’ve put together strategies to maximize your well-being during this difficult time along with important things to consider for your relationship needs going forward. Check out the links below: 

 


Taking care of yourself so that you can remain whole and so you don’t rush to hasty conclusions during this time is important. Yet, it is only the beginning. When one or both partners have been unfaithful, this is a significant threat to the core of your relationship. You can dismantle your relationship and let it go, or choose to rebuild it. Either decision involves time and a series of productive conversations. Sometimes couples think they can manage on their own, but the intensity is too severe or history too tangled to make progress.

I help couples navigate post-affair needs so they can move forward. With compassionate and non-judgmental counseling, couples can work through the following processes to promote healing after a betrayal:

 

  1. Assessing your current state. Clarify partner’s immediate needs and if the affair is ongoing.
     

  2. Adjusting expectations. Establish appropriate boundaries for the present time.
     

  3. Accepting, as applicable, the ideals you held for your old relationship may be gone.
     

  4. Analyzing what occurred in the relationship that allowed the affair.
     

  5. Amending. Ask for forgiveness for the affair and repair other relationship injuries.
     

  6. Altering how you will relate to each other; co-create a new relationship if you choose.
     

  7. Attaching to one another in a new, healthier way.
     

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It is not easy, healing yourself, transforming your mind, building new habits, observing reality without projections or delusions. this is work that takes effort, but when you continue trying, it creates significant results that have an immensely positive impact on your life.

 

Yung Pueblo